Maternity Leave is Over: What Now?

Prior to having kids I had been adamant and vocal about the need for mothers to take care of their babies themselves.  It was my intention and it is an ideal thing to do.  Reality bites though,  I have to work, as the case with many moms and dads out there.

Our kids grew up with nannies.  They spent most hours of the day five days a week with a nanny.  Our first child had a Filipino nanny.  She was loving and motherly.  She took care of the kids very well.  Yes,  she had three toddlers under her care.  Our second child on the other hand had a Thai nanny.  She had two babies to take care of.  She was a grandmother and also motherly.  I say we got to experience the best and the worse of both worlds. Both are similar in some ways yet so different in many ways. I will talk about this in length in my next post.

Anyway,  would we have it in any other way?  Well,  I don’t  think so.  We did not have much choice.  As both of us have to work full time (for the visa) , so looking after our then toddlers was simply out of the question.  I think many expat parents share my view on this.  In as much as we want to be there especially during this stage, we can’t,  and all we can do is choose the best option there is.

For Thai expats there are several options to choose from.

  • One is to ask a relative especially your mom and/or dad to look after your kid (for other culture this might be preposterous but for Asians this is acceptable and practical). They could apply for Non-O visa to be able to stay.  Siblings however are not eligible. This is the kind of set up particularly preferred by those whose parents are retirees or are just not working.
  • Second is sending your child to a day care that accepts infants and very young toddlers.
  • Third is hiring a nanny.

If you would like to know more about our experience regarding this please click here.

For expats out there,  which of the following choices above would you prefer?

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12 thoughts on “Maternity Leave is Over: What Now?

  1. You’re right!! This is one of the problem of overseas parents. Who will care for their children and whom to leave while they are at work. Especially now, it is difficult to find someone who can be trusted in caring for our loving children.

  2. Some of my friends find it a struggle to let other people (nannies) look after their kids. This is not only because they want to spend time with them but they need to be sure that the nannies are someone they could trust. While this is already a concern in your own country, how much more if you are living in another country, culture. Having the grandparents look after the kids, if they are willing and available, would be nice.

  3. Separation anxiety is real! I feel for parents who need to work and leave their children with nannies or other caregivers as there is no other option.

  4. For a married couple working abroad, having family support for the babysitting is essential. On the other hand, we should also recall that retired senior people may have other plans after their retirement.

  5. First, congrats for still doing a good mommy job despite the odds. I know it’s difficult to find a good and reliable nanny. I’d like to read more about being a mom and an expat at that. 🙂

  6. It’s a lot tougher when you are in a foreign land since you have to work full time. Of course, it’s better to raise kids on your own but having a trusted nanny would be fine as well as long as the parents get their time with the kids at night and weekends.

    1. This whole family system that is prevalent in Asian culture is actually good in so many ways, not only on the practical side, but also culturally.

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