“Talking Back” Is Actually A Good Thing

Do you agree?

Lately, this has been a source of stress for us. Our 6 year old has been “talking back” every time she does not get what she wants.  As parents we want our kids to grow with a great sense of individuality. We dream for them to become adults of sound values, independent, and incredulous to the trickeries of this world.  With this in heart, but confronted with this bitter reality gave us a sense of not being in control of the whole thing.  Most of the time the more we demand to be followed, the more rebellious kids become, and at the end of the day if feels like the whole situation is getting out of hand.

An article from Yahoo Parenting “Kids Who Talk Back Becomes More Successful Adults”, caught my attention. The article explained that the “talking back” should be treated more of an important training ground than a nuisance. This is their way of exerting a sense of self control over their lives.  By curtailing them from reasoning out or negotiating with us, we are actually molding them to become submissive, insecure individuals who might be prone to bullying and the likes in the future.

Well, this is good, right? It means parents can still turn the table around and make things right. But I personally think that the manner of “talking back” is of utmost importance. Screaming and yelling, finger-pointing, and name calling should be avoided.  If the “talking back” is done in a manner other than these, even parents who grew up in a conservative family or in a  “talking back is plainly not possible or else” kind of family, will understand and compromise sooner or later.

Our parenting style is, often than not, a reflection of the family environment we grew up with. In the natural course of events, parents kind of naturally adopt whatever they are used to and whatever they themselves were exposed to. So, if ones family background is anything but “open, free to talk, children have a voice” environment, then to change something that is almost like a second skin is ultimately a tremendous challenge. Nevertheless, a change we need to take, right?

Do you agree?

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